Giraffes like Lance Armstrong

At the beginning of my dream, I was very angry and upset with Dan. I was crying my eyes out because he was ditching me for the day. At first he was going to a basketball game, but then it changed and he was ditching me to watch an old lady swim with dolphins, and then it changed again and he was ditching me to go to a Renaissance festival. Somehow I ended up at this festival, and one of the workers took me to the Renaissance race tracks. None of the horses had riders, and they all kept switching directions. Their hair was unkempt, which made them look diseased. After a while, the lady took me out of the race track and back to the festival.

"Those horses are pretty vicious, aren't they?" I said.

"What do you mean?" the Renaissance lady asked.

"Well, I saw a dead body on the track. They must have killed that person."

"That wasn't a person," the lady responded. "That was a giraffe."

"A giraffe?! But it was wearing a livestrong bracelet!"

"Yeah. All giraffes do."

Even in my dream I thought she was crazy.

The Dreams Will Go On and On

For those of you wondering, no, my wedding nightmares have not stopped since I got married almost 3 weeks ago.

The other night I dreamed that I had the chicken pox on my wedding day, and we were doing all we could to cover the spots with makeup.

That's all.

On my Wedding Eve Eve

I dreamed that Dan was already married, and he had just started dating another girl. The new girl was a better dancer than I was, and Dan was sorry that he was hurting me, but he said that he just couldn't help it.

And then I was taking a baby to a changing table to change her diaper. The baby told me that Dan's friend Matt had told her to tell me to bring him back a spoon. I was offended and thought that Matt thought I was stupid. Why wouldn't I get a spoon while I was changing a baby? So I got to the changing table and there was a goldfish bowl with a dead goldfish in it. And I thought, "I can't change her here! I need a living fish!"

After I changed the baby I went to a party with Ellen DeGeneres, and the baby started throwing up. I wasn't sure what to do, but everyone assured me that it would all be ok if I just held the baby upside down and let her puke. Before the dream ended, I realized that she was throwing up pieces of newspaper.

Dream Comic

I love this comic. I usually skip the amnesia part, though.

Wedding Dreams

As my wedding day draws nearer (it's 12 days away for anyone who hasn't been feverishly checking the countdown like I have) I've been having more and more wedding dreams and nightmares. And of course, almost all of them revolve around the dress.

A few weeks ago I dreamed that the weekend of the wedding rolled around, and I didn't have a dress yet. So, naturally, I went to get a dress at the Goodwill caves. And as I was traipsing through the caves, one of my bridesmaids fell off a cliff inside the Goodwill caves. So then I not only had to get a dress, I also had to find a new bridesmaid.

Another time I dreamed that a bear ate my wedding dress. That was all.

A few days ago I dreamed that one of my bridesmaids was wearing my dress, and I was wearing her bridesmaids dress. We were getting some pictures taken, and as soon as those pictures were done we were going to switch dresses. She was also wearing the bra that I was supposed to be wearing with my dress, and I noticed that the bra was sticking up over the top of the dress. So I freaked out. The photographer suggested that we glue the dress to my bridesmaid so that the bra wouldn't show. My only objection was that I ultimately needed to be wearing the dress, and I didn't want it to be stuck to my bridesmaid.

In another dress dream, my wedding dress was brown. My sister/maid of honor had a white dress, but she wouldn't switch with me. And the rest of the bridesmaids looked like Princess Jasmine.

I've also had several dreams in which my wedding is like a performance with evening and matinee showings.

I wonder if these will stop in 12 days...

Ghosts, Helicopters, and Nudity

Last night's dream began with me holding a cup of water. Some of my friends were with me, and they said, "That glass of water is haunted." I thought they were being ridiculous, but I humored them and looked closely at my water. Suddenly I heard ghost-like moaning and noticed the silhouette of a person's face on the side of my glass of water. And then I was a believer.

I woke up at this point and thought, "Wow, scary dream" and then fell back asleep. (And no, I wasn't being sarcastic. In my half-awake stupor, I was actually scared by my haunted glass of water.)

The second dream started with me taking a choir final exam. I was wearing tanning goggles, and I couldn't focus; my mind kept wandering and it was hard to see. Everyone else was done, but I still couldn't remember which way the entire choir was supposed to shift when we sang a certain note. And then my aunt showed up and took me on a helicopter ride. It was an open helicopter, so when she took a sharp turn over open water, I almost fell out. Thankfully, though, I was holding a support bar with one hand and a tiny dog with the other, so I was able to stay in the air. But then I had to go back to my choir final. I was trying to finish it, but then one of my English professors came in and told me that she wanted to condition my hair. So, naturally, I took off all of my clothes. I sat in the hair-conditioning chair and suddenly realized I didn't need to be naked for her to condition my hair. So I said, "Oh, I guess I shouldn't be naked, huh?" and she said, "What? You're naked?" So then I put some clothes on and told her about how I always dream about being naked. And then my aunt showed up again and suddenly she was my choir teacher. She was collecting the exams, but I still hadn't finished. I couldn't focus with the stupid tanning goggles on. She told me that was ok, as long as I finished the test before my English professor graded all of her Shakespeare exams.

And then my mom called and woke me up.

Cars, Midgets, and Skeleton Hands

Last night I dreamed that I went to a Lady Gaga concert, and when I came out, something was wrong with my car. The back end of it seemed taller than it had been before. I looked around the lot to see if I was looking at the wrong car, but my normal-looking car wasn't anywhere in sight. My keys worked on the car, so I figured that I just had never noticed how tall the trunk of my car was until now. So I got into the car and drove somewhere. I got out of the car, and when I came back, there was a note stuck to my windshield. It said something to the effect of "I don't know if you know this or not, but your car is a hearse." So then I freaked out and ran away.

And then there was a part when I was in a car full of midgets and almost got into a wreck because the midget driving didn't like it when his mom referred to him hanging out with his friends as "midget time." (this part was ironic because the boy driving had earlier been one of the tallest girls in my high school, but then she morphed into a boy midget)

And then there was a part when I went on some sort of National Treasure-type search for...something...and I ended up laying down on the skeleton of a hand and breaking it.

I may have woken up in between each these dreams. Maybe that's why none of them seem to connect.